my father. my mother.

lying on the sofa, tunning into diff channels on SCV, her heavy eye lids slowly shut up her eyes.she switched off the TV n fell deep into her dreams.

observing silently at her frm my computer desk, i realised how much she had aged frm the image of her i had since the day i can rem n recognised her.

the heavy eye bags and dark circles ard her eyes deepened due to the insufficient hrs of sleep she got, from turning in late at nite n getting up as earli as dawn breaks.

the lines of wrinkles increased, the strands of black hair turned grey, as youth left her.

smooth hands turned rough due to the cooking n the laundry she does everi single day, fer the four of us in the family.

her used-to-be monstrous figured changed dramtically ever since she gave birth to us, expanding more from side to side each time.

the amt of pocket money she gave us, despite earning juz a few hundred bucks per month.deducting the amt of money she gave to us as pocket money n money spent on grocery, she had lil left fer her cravings.she dun mind, as long as we have our tummy filled to fight our battles in sch.she juz have to delay getting wat she likes, betting les son 4D, as long as we have enuff money each schooling day.

her efforts spent on the constant naggings, be it abt studies or behaviour wise, were solely fer our own gd.yet, wat she got in return each time were all the shoutings, cursings and AP frm us.

once, a heated arguement happened btween us which brought us into 'cold-war' fer a few weeks.nv did a word broke btween us.she gave pocket money, ironed my uniform, cook my meals n washed my clothes as usual, but nv did she showed her concern abt mi, which can b clearly seen by ani other person, thou she did spell it out.by then, i'm filled with guilt.apologising, easier said den done.i knew i have to do it, but i dunno how it shld b done.eventually, i did not say 'sorry' to her.i showed it by breaking the ice n hlping her with household chores.we r back to norm.

another, i saw how much she's hurt, breaking into tears n slammed her room door.she stayed in there fer hrs.guilt striken, i stood outside her door.n fer the 1st time, i cant feel ani worse.she came out, i looked at her, she turned without even giving mi a glance.i seriously felt how much she had been hurt.den on, i told myself i muz nv hurt her again.

fer all tat she went thru, she had nv gave a word of complaint.the thoughts n joys tat pictured her mind of us growing up, being an useful person, kept her going.that is how much i admired her.no, admire i mean, as i'll forever do.

yes, she's none other den my dearest mama!i lurve her.she's the greatest.

i once thought that he is 'niao' (stingy). he did not gif us a single cent fer our pocket money.

however, i realised he isn't so.

he paid fer our miscellaneous stuff we needed, whether it's fer sch or daily needs.

he scrimps n saves, such as going into NTUC n den to Shop & Save to check out the difference btween the prices of some particular stuff before he buys it, just to provide us a better education, a better life and save up fer rainy days.

he left the house as earli as 10 in the mrng fer work n return exhausted at abt 7 in the evening.we hardly greet him like we normally greet our mama when she's back or vice versa.dun ask mi y.it juz feels odd, perhaps we r not used to doing so, since young.

whenever ani1 in the family asked him fer hlp, he'll nv ever reject them.when we go fer family outings, tat is with my aunts n cousins, he'll alwaes bring us out fer nice dinner at the end of the day, of course, oso footing the bill.

once, he swang the metal tip of the belt hard on behind my knees and put a chopper on my bro's neck, threatening to kill him, as we refused to admit to stealing his money frm his wallet.i knew clearly in my heart tat i did tat, but i din dare to admit, fer fear tat he might juz kill mi.luckily tat my grandma came in time which den ended the drama.i hated him since den.yrs past.then, i thought back.i shld have apologised to him instead of bearing grudges against him in those few yrs.blame it on my age den tat i was too young to understand tat it was in a fit of anger tat he over reacted n did those actions.till now, i had wanted so much to apologise.and again, i din.

he knew i am following up this particular tv drama.he's used to switching chns now n den with the remote controller fer the SCV on his hand.however, when the time fer tat particular drama im following up strikes, he'll quietly leave his seat with the remote controller placed on the table, n do smthn else.yes, we dunno how to express out our feelings.i tink mani of u must agree with tat.

wells, till now i guess all of u had an idea hu he is.yes, man of the family, my papa!thou the sentences we spoke to each other everiday, or rather everi week or EVEN months, can b easily counted like ABC, deep down inside my heart, i lurve him too.i juz dunno how shld i express it out.i tink i might juz let him down fer another once on 6thOCT.i tink i'll b wasting his hard earned $1200++ fer this semester.im sorry dad.

im told by mani, tat i shld treasure my family as it's complete n well-lived.and by dar, tat i shld realli treasure it as not mani ppl r as lucki as mi.i used to curse the god, hate myself fer not being born in a rich family.to tink of it, how childish am i.thou im not being borned with a silver spoon fed in my mouth, im happily blessed with a complete, well-to-do and happy family.i muz realli treasure it =)

i noe none of them will c this.but i felt better having it written here.i dunno how to tell sum1 bt this, coz a emotional mi might juz get them panick n lost fer words to comfort mi.heh.so ppl, treasure them coz they r the ones hu will alwaes b with u, not turning their backs on u, when u r in deep shits.lurve them. =)

drafted - 248pm